Here I talk about some of the things making me feel anxious: potential cancer treatment, becoming a mom, getting adequate support, hiding the diagnosis from friends and family… there was a lot going on at the time.

This is the first time I admitted to myself how terrified I was of undergoing chemotherapy (I was afraid that I wouldn’t survive treatment). And the first time I mention an alternative to typical Western medicine as treatment, which becomes a bigger part of my healing journey later on.

Anxiety continues to pervade my life. If I pay attention, I’ll notice it building up and can start doing things to take care of my body before it gets bad… but that’s really hard to do and I am not always paying close attention.

It helps to tell myself “something is moving through me and will eventually fade.” Fighting it is more exhausting than surrendering to it and letting it pass. It also helps me to personify the maladaptive feelings I deal with regularly. That way I can take it less seriously and poke fun at my neurotic tendencies. Anxiety is a hyperactive friend, and Depression a somber one, both wanting my attention and reminding me to slow down, and both not always welcome but inseparable parts of my life.

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Resources:
Dr. Junella Chin Integrative Cannabis Medicine

UCSF Osher Center for Integrative Medicine

Articles about cannabis and cancer treatment:
Anticancer mechanisms of cannabinoids
Cannabinoid-induced cell death in endometrial cancer cells: involvement of TRPV1 receptors in apoptosis
Control of the cell survival/death decision by cannabinoids