the little things (VIDEO)

Remembering that joy lives in little things. Ordinary moments have the power to touch our hearts every day. Eating this slice of pizza delivered abundant joy during my pregnancy. As I awaited the next steps of my cancer treatment I tried to seize lightness and play as much as possible.

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Revisiting history

I haven’t written about my health or shared many videos from my cancer journey since the beginning of this year. To be honest, I’ve been avoiding it. With everything that’s happening in our world today – our pandemic, our tyrannical leader, our dismantling of unsustainable societal structures, our acknowledgement of the massive trauma and abuse […]

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MRI blues & Karaoke tunes (video)

Three weeks before my son was born I learned that the tumor lodged in my brain was growing. Here’s a little vignette of how that went and what I did to cheer myself up. It’s natural to feel disempowered when bad news comes our way. While enmeshed in hardship we cannot see that we have […]

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Me and my ego

I’ve been thinking a lot about why people decide to have children; why I decided to have children. I’d like to think that I had the best of intentions when my husband and I started our journey to become parents. We wanted to raise a child to be an active contributor to society, to do […]

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Not all days are good ones (video)

A cathartic release as I revisit past trauma and express the tremendous love, gratitude and guilt I feel towards my husband. I think most people can feel a lot of different things at the same time. It wasn’t an easy decision to post this video but I remain committed to sharing an honest depiction of […]

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27 Weeks (video)

Here I talk about some of the things making me feel anxious: potential cancer treatment, becoming a mom, getting adequate support, hiding the diagnosis from friends and family… there was a lot going on at the time. This is the first time I admitted to myself how terrified I was of undergoing chemotherapy (I was […]

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Moments of Joy & Choosing not Fear (video)

In this video, I talk about some of the coping strategies I used to get through each day after learning the cancer had returned. Most of these are strategies I’ve gained from years of therapy to manage depression and anxiety. I was 24-years old when I first sought out counseling. My therapist shared the same […]

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Reconciling with ‘Why’

“WHY ME?” A question I used to ask myself daily. In the depths of depression, I couldn’t come up with an answer that made any sense to me. Nobody else could either. I had died but I also hadn’t. I almost lost everything but then didn’t. I witnessed several people take their last breaths in […]

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Pregnant with cancer (video)

This was my first video diary entry recorded one week after learning about a brain tumor growing in my body again. I had trouble processing how I felt about this news while also expecting a baby to arrive in the coming months. These two realities seemed to contradict one another. It helped me to speak […]

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Beyond Cancer

On certain days, particularly when it’s overcast, rainy, cold, I find myself feeling vulnerable and in fragments. Like a shattered clay pot. For a long time I felt broken. I felt betrayed by my body and incapable of performing any mundane daily tasks, let alone creating life. My first cancer diagnosis arrived years ago, while […]

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